Monday, May 28, 2012

Writing as an outlet

For anyone that suffers through mental health issues, we look for an outlet, sometimes it's talking to a friend, or your counselor, or your teacher, or anyone else you would trust. But, what happens if at the moment, when you're at your lowest, there is no one available? It can happen, and it's happened to me quite a few times in my life. That's when we try to look for outlets we can do by ourselves to make us feel better, at least until we can talk to someone if nothing else.

Almost every time I'm at my lowest, I'm suicidal. Half the time, there is no one available for me to get help at that crucial moment. Why? Because unfortunately, that crucial moment happens when I have a bout of insomnia. I'm up in the middle of the night, it's 3am, thoughts running through my mind, my mind is going a mile a minute and I just want to sleep! I'm not saying that that's when the crucial moment usually happens or that it happens every single time I have a sleepless night. It's just something that happens. And unfortunately, it can make you feel even more alone.

So, what can you do about it? There's no one you can reach, so what can you do? First thing you should do is just take a deep breath and just remember to breathe and relax. This is the time that you can search within yourself, while everything else is quiet. Search within yourself and find out what would make you feel better. For me, an outlet, especially at night, is reading or writing. A few of my friends were especially helpful when I had my last bout of depression, and I was ready to give up. They told me that there is hope that life will get better. And knowing that I was always a writer at heart, they insisted that I try writing again. And so, I did.

I posted a couple of poems that I had written in college, they said those were great and wanted more. So I just kept writing and I still am writing. Have you ever felt that Eureka moment? It's a feeling that you cannot describe, but it's one of the best feelings in life. I've had one of those moments, it was a moment where I finally discovered I was a writer and all the writing I did in the past made more sense. My earliest writing memory was in 3rd grade. And I once wrote a story in one night while in college. I just could not sleep, and my story ended up being 100+ pages. I had since lost the story, but I still have the memory. At this moment, I am working on a novel that I hope will be published someday.

At night, I'm usually adding to my current story or writing in my journal. Writing in a journal is a good way to make yourself feel better. Sometimes, you may want to write out what you're feeling, and then crumble up the paper and throw it away. I've been writing in journals on and off my whole life. I have had about five journals that I've kept. Writing gives you a piece of mind. It is a way to let out your troubles or to celebrate your happiness. I talk to myself sometimes, so sometimes I write as if I'm talking to myself. You don't have to write a specific way or even stay on topic when you're writing a journal.

Regardless, writing always makes you feel better, that's the beauty of it.

Until next time, God Bless.
- MissNiChloe


  1. I know what you are saying dear Nichloe because I love to write and writing helps with pain, grief, sadness, loneliness and more. I have been writing off and on since I was 7 years old. I still have most of my original writings in notebooks and I am still working on at least 3 story ideas and plus I still have a few that I haven't started writing on yet but I plan to as soon as I finish up my other writing projects. I know that ideas can come from anywhere and that is why I try to keep a writing notebook with me at all times.