Monday, May 28, 2012

Writing as an outlet

For anyone that suffers through mental health issues, we look for an outlet, sometimes it's talking to a friend, or your counselor, or your teacher, or anyone else you would trust. But, what happens if at the moment, when you're at your lowest, there is no one available? It can happen, and it's happened to me quite a few times in my life. That's when we try to look for outlets we can do by ourselves to make us feel better, at least until we can talk to someone if nothing else.

Almost every time I'm at my lowest, I'm suicidal. Half the time, there is no one available for me to get help at that crucial moment. Why? Because unfortunately, that crucial moment happens when I have a bout of insomnia. I'm up in the middle of the night, it's 3am, thoughts running through my mind, my mind is going a mile a minute and I just want to sleep! I'm not saying that that's when the crucial moment usually happens or that it happens every single time I have a sleepless night. It's just something that happens. And unfortunately, it can make you feel even more alone.

So, what can you do about it? There's no one you can reach, so what can you do? First thing you should do is just take a deep breath and just remember to breathe and relax. This is the time that you can search within yourself, while everything else is quiet. Search within yourself and find out what would make you feel better. For me, an outlet, especially at night, is reading or writing. A few of my friends were especially helpful when I had my last bout of depression, and I was ready to give up. They told me that there is hope that life will get better. And knowing that I was always a writer at heart, they insisted that I try writing again. And so, I did.

I posted a couple of poems that I had written in college, they said those were great and wanted more. So I just kept writing and I still am writing. Have you ever felt that Eureka moment? It's a feeling that you cannot describe, but it's one of the best feelings in life. I've had one of those moments, it was a moment where I finally discovered I was a writer and all the writing I did in the past made more sense. My earliest writing memory was in 3rd grade. And I once wrote a story in one night while in college. I just could not sleep, and my story ended up being 100+ pages. I had since lost the story, but I still have the memory. At this moment, I am working on a novel that I hope will be published someday.

At night, I'm usually adding to my current story or writing in my journal. Writing in a journal is a good way to make yourself feel better. Sometimes, you may want to write out what you're feeling, and then crumble up the paper and throw it away. I've been writing in journals on and off my whole life. I have had about five journals that I've kept. Writing gives you a piece of mind. It is a way to let out your troubles or to celebrate your happiness. I talk to myself sometimes, so sometimes I write as if I'm talking to myself. You don't have to write a specific way or even stay on topic when you're writing a journal.

Regardless, writing always makes you feel better, that's the beauty of it.

Until next time, God Bless.
- MissNiChloe

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Dealing with Mental Illness

Most of my friends know already that I have a disability. I've mentioned it a few times here on my blog. But did you know, I also suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Bipolar Disorder 2? I've had a difficult time with life. But, as time went on, I had gotten more control with my mental illness with better medications and such, but not without making some mistakes that I still regret. Right now, I still suffer from depression, deep depression, but I take it one day at a time. I've taken up writing again as an outlet. And I know, I have my friends that I can count on.

I know just as well as the next person that life is tough. Depression or any other kind of mental illness can make life tougher. Add a disability on top of that and you've got my life, just tough. I think, that what I've been through in my life have shaped what I want to do in life. I've taken psychology and I want to do something in that field.

If I could give you guys advice right now, especially regarding depression, NEVER give up hope. There is always hope, even if you don't see it right now. If you're lonely or stuck in one place, try to find a hobby or try to go volunteer somewhere. My hobbies mainly are reading, writing, and photography. I always do one of those whenever I get the chance. Writing is a great outlet, no matter how good or bad you feel. Photography helps you capture beauty just about anywhere. Beauty is everywhere. Just remember, no matter where you are in life, never give up, there is always hope. There is a poem I want to share here, that I have written especially for this post. It was inspired by my good friends.


Anger and frustration
makes you want to scream
so you go to a therapy session
just to blow off some steam

Sadness and depression
creeps on you like a team
you want to get rid of the tension
and you wish this was just a bad dream

Content and hopefulness
when good things come our way
as long as we’re in business
we’ll always have words to say

Compassion and happiness
and hopes that friends will stay
we all need that closeness
to help us through the day

This is life, the good and the bad
don’t give up, there are so many memories to be had

Until next time, God Bless.
- MissNiChloe

Friday, May 4, 2012

An Inspirational Person

Today, I found out about someone who is a motivational speaker and author. She is a wonderful soul who doesn't let anyone bring her down. Her name is Lizzie Valesquaz, she is 23 years old, and she is living with a rare, undiagnosed syndrome. It is so rare, only three people in the world has this syndrome, her included. To this day, it is still a mystery.

She has dealt with bullies. She was once voted the ugliest girl in the world on youtube. She's been told she would not amount to anything. Do you know what she did? She proved to everyone that it's what on the inside that counts. She proved every single one of those haters wrong with her successes.

She recently made an inspirational video here:

She currently has two books out: Lizzie Beautiful and Be Beautiful, Be You. Lizzie Beautiful is available now on Amazon. Be Beautiful, Be You is set for release on October 1, 2012. For those who know my love for reading, I will be looking out for those books.

Her story has really hit home for me. It's not that I have the same syndrome, it's what I've had to deal with and my goals in life. I'm sure my troubles can't compare with hers, and I'm not saying I've had more troubles or she's had more troubles. Her story is just very relateable.

For those who know me, you know I want to speak out for awareness on certain subjects. I know I can't touch on everything, so I'm cautious about trying to speak out about everything. Just the other day, I was doubtful that I'd be able to reach out. So, as a child of God, I prayed for Him to show me some inspiration. Today, I got that inspiration and I want to say, God bless you, Lizzie, and thank you for being an inspiration. Keep doing what you do best.

She has a twitter, facebook, and a blog. It's all on her website here:!__home

I've already contacted her via her website to let her know she's doing an awesome job. I invite you to check out her website.

Until next time, God Bless.
~ MissNiChloe